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On Valentine’s Day, we took a little trip to the city we keep considering moving to. We drove around, grabbed a coffee from a local coffee shop, stopped in at an open house, checked out some different areas and talked about what we want next. Usually, this would be my jam. I love this stuff, the potential new home, new friends, new everything. But I find myself in yet another strange season. Where I once yearned to move, I now am feeling more than a bit of sadness at the thought of possibly moving next summer. Who even am I? I used to love the possibility of change! Honestly, I’ve been asking myself that a lot lately. Who even am I anymore? But that’s a blog post for another time. And we don’t “have” to move but there are a variety of reasons we would like to move. This was always meant to be a stop along the way for us.
“Our plan” is to most likely move across the river, about 30 minutes away into Wisconsin after our youngest graduates next summer. Yet lately, I keep thinking about all my favorite places that I will miss. I know where I like my coffee from, which Target has what, what restaurants we like and ones we still have o n a list waiting to try out. I can easily find my way around and love all the options available within 20 minutes of my home. Yes, I am even sad to leave our home, there are projects I still hope to do here and honestly, my living room makes me very happy. It’s become comfortable, in fact I kind of love staying home. Again, who am I? Is this old people life? I definitely still miss our last home but this one has grown on me. I’ll miss the trees we planted that are growing into lovely shade for the backyard and the tree out front that was a toddler when we moved in that now is a big tree. I will really miss my beautiful hydrangeas that I planted that bring me s0 much joy. And yes I can plant more hydrangeas but it’s taken five years for them to be this big and beautiful!
There are hard things here too. It still feels like we are largely strangers here, we don’t know many people even though it’s a small community. Our neighborhood is nice but it’s not like our last home. I don’t need to be best friends with everyone but it’s hard to be on the edge literally and figuratively. Partly this is my fault but also it’s like being a round peg in a square hole. As I tell my kids, you aren’t going to be liked by everyone and you won’t always like everyone either. And that’s ok, it’s just tough after our last neighborhood was so amazing. The appeal of starting over in a neighborhood is definitely there but also, it sounds exhausting starting over again. New neighborhood, finding and making new friends in general, a new church, new favorite restaurants, coffee shop, walking trails, etc. They say it takes two years before a place feels like home. Maybe because I’ll be 50 by then, that sounds like a lot of time that I don’t want to spend replanting myself.
But as I re-read again words that I have typed out on this laptop when facing a new season in 2020 and reflecting in 2022 and 2025, God is already going ahead of us. I don’t have to worry because I already know that He has plans and purposes wherever we are living. What’s the saying, don’t borrow trouble?
May 2020 -So, while we grieve all the wonderful memories, our neighborhood and even our home, I know that God has good things planned for us in our new city, neighborhood and home.
We trust you to provide again, that you have gone before us and our new home and community may be different, but it will still be good.
April 2022 – Today I sit here and reflect on just how true those words have been for us since I first wrote that post almost two years ago. God has good things for us here too. Leaving our home and neighborhood that we loved didn’t mean we were leaving God’s goodness and purposes for us behind and wandering into some unknown. It also didn’t mean we were moving to lesser things either. God has plans and purposes for us, always, no matter where we are. In fact, He prepared those for us before we even knew we were moving. Sometimes being uprooted and replanted is confusing and maybe even painful. But God wastes nothing. Now we enter a new season, with plans and purposes ready and waiting for us.
So as I type out my feelings on this screen, I will not fret about what’s next. I will continue to be content right here and right where God has us planted in this season. The flowers don’t worry about if they are going to be uprooted, they just bloom, right where they are, trusting that the gardener knows where they will thrive the best. Sometimes that means a change of location after a few seasons but it’s also trusting the gardener knows if and when it’s the right time to uproot and replant.
