Word of the Year check in

Back in January I blogged about my word of the year.  I did a check in back in late April as well.   I figured it’s time for another check in even though I really don’t want to but I do want to be accountable to God, friends and family, whoever reads this and to myself I am going to put myself out there, it is honest and maybe not the most encouraging post ever and that’s ok.  Because there is always room for improvement and sometimes it is two steps forward and one step back.  So all I ask is for some grace and love, then add in some encouragement for good measure.

Deeper in my relationship with Christ and submitting my life to Him –  When May hit, it was like our calendar went into hyperdrive with trips, trips and more road trips.  Seriously if we were here on a weekend it was a miracle.  Not that this is an excuse but it plays into a big part of where I am right now spiritually.  We were not able to attend small group on Sunday nights at all most of the summer, we attended church 3 times this summer total and served two of those.  I know that church and small group are only a part of my walk with Christ and it is up to me to be in his word.  I started out well when our church handed out the Psalms reading plan, even started a fb group and I loved it.  Then I got behind, played catch up, got behind, played catch up, got behind and then behind some more, tried catching up and it got worse as the summer went on.  And it showed, in my attitude, my anxiety, everything.  I am back in the word and church was has been a big help.  For right now we are not in small group as we deal with a child’s anxiety issues and Sunday nights we have come to realize are just not good for our family.  Next summer it will likely be a similar scenario with us traveling or having visitors in the summer.  This fall  I am not in MOPS,  a women’s small group or bible study for the first time in years and it sucks.  I am in a season of mothering that is new to me, I am feeling disconnected and unsure of life lately.  I am feeling lost as sea so to speak and I’ll blog more about this further down in the post.

Deeper into his word and his promises – I covered this in the paragraph above but this has been back and forth.  We have been doing Ephesians as a family, I am back into my Jesus Calling devo and have been listening to some sermons online while painting houses so that has been helpful.  Always, always room for improvement and this is the one I am going to focus on the most!

Deeper in relationship with my husband – This has been good, finding our routine again with the kids in school and being somewhat more scheduled than this summer when we just had no schedule.  Really I think this one I have nothing I can say but good things…..maybe my husband can chime in here and give some feedback.

Darling, we have our ups and downs like any couple, but over the grand scheme we have an amazing relationship.  In the areas that matter the most, we are completely compatible and complement each other very well as you know.  I think after 16 years of marriage we have a relationship that goes beyond where I would have thought we would be at this point.  We’re in the lean years of raising the kids and not having a lot of time for date nights, get aways, and extended quality time, but yet we have a great foundation for the years to come and someday (maybe too soon) we will have just us again like it started 16 years ago.  And that I look forward to, selfishly, to have you all to me!  I feel more connected to you right now, and a lot has to do with just spending time with one another in the evenings, weekends, and even somewhat during the day now that the kids are all in school.  You have done well to encourage me to lead our family and support me even when I am wishy-washy and don’t listen very well.  I would definitely say there is more depth to our relationship since the beginning of the year, and I hope and pray that continues.

Deeper in relationships with my children – The summer is always my favorite when my kids are home and we are just hanging out being a family.  It’s always a hard adjustment for me when they go back to school, I miss having them around although I don’t miss lunch time.  lol.  One thing I would like to work on with them is being more encouraging with my words.  I don’t feel that I’m critical but I’m also not very encouraging either.

Deeper into relationships with family and friends – hmmmm……well we did vacation with some friends this summer and that was good, even when there was a fight and the girls rode in one vehicle and the guys in another, it all worked out.   And catching up with friends is always a good time, even when the city you picked to vacation in isn’t amazing, you still have fun!  While we were gone this summer it was very hard to catch up with friends here.  Definitely felt a disconnect with friends and miss having game nights and hanging out with people.  Maybe it’s a different season right now when the kids are in elementary jr. and sr. high, you have to deal with their activities and schedules too instead of having all the toddlers come with you while you play games and hang with your friends.  I also feel like we saw our family a fair amount this summer but it’s hard to go deeper when you don’t live near them.  Maybe I’m off on this one……

Deeper into my thinking/thought life – I’ve been working on this and I would say it’s improved since the beginning of the year.  🙂  Trying to be more aware of what thoughts are creeping in, throwing out the bad ones, embracing the good ones.  Dwelling on things that are true, lovely, pure and praiseworthy, thankfulness, trying to remain in the present.  That’s what I’ve been doing lately.  Although  I was in a funk this summer, it’s gotten better and I’ll chalk that up to two things:

1)  we were gone a lot this summer and I am/was feeling disconnected

2) I am in a new season of mothering and it’s thrown me

Deeper into working through my fears and struggles – I was in counseling, it wasn’t good.  I am not making much progress in this area since April.  I’m looking into different counseling options for myself and my child that is struggling with anxiety as well.

Deeper into our city and life here.  Alright friends……I was good in April and it was clear that we were not supposed to go where we were thinking but now, I don’t know what we are supposed to do.   After being here for three years, it would be hard to go but at the same time, some of my kids aren’t deeply rooted here, they have a few friends and maybe they are more homebodies than I was at their age so I don’t get it.   We aren’t involved in many activities and it seems like that is the thing to do around here so I know that is part of it.  On the upside, our neighborhood is awesome and we love it.  The winters stink, this past summer was ok, I miss water and beaches.  I’m really not sure what to say about this.  This summer certainly did not have us going deeper here and I know that.  Being gone a lot did not lend itself to helping the deeper cause and so this one I think we went backwards on over the summer.  I’m not sure what else to say about this…..I have wanderlust.  What can I say?

 

There you have it, some areas improved, some stayed the same and some unfortunately even declined.  I will check in again in December and hopefully that report will be more encouraging.   Did you pick a Word for the Year?