Today I’m sitting in my front room and watching the birds out my window and my hydrangea blooms just beginning to burst forth. They are late bloomers and I’m thankful for that as the beginning of August always feels like the end of summer. Even when there’s still a few weeks of summer left. The beginning of June always feels so exciting, there’s the promise of summer, the possibilities and all the things we hope to do. The FOMO of summer is real here in the Midwest when we know that winter is coming, and we maybe didn’t get to do all the things we had hoped and planned for. The reality of our summer is baseball took up all of our June weekends and July was filled with baseball and traveling. August is here and in less than two short weeks we will be moving our third daughter into her freshman dorm and soon after our son will start his freshman year of high school. I swear we just went through all this with the oldest two!
We will have one baby left in our nest and we all know how quickly the time passes. Another season of change is upon us. And I’ve realized that life is always a season of change. Which if you know me, I’ve usually enjoyed and even embraced change. But it’s the change that I choose that I enjoy, not the change that happens because…life. So, this year of Joy is definitely a learning experience for me to rest in the knowledge that God has control and He’s got it already all figured out.
To be honest I’ve always known this time was coming, when the kids leave home, our parents are getting older, friendships change, health starts to become something you are more focused on and may be more challenging as our bodies are letting us know we’re not 25 anymore. All of a sudden, you’re facing what feels like a mid-life crisis. Maybe not buying a Ferrari and having an affair or getting a boob job type of crisis. But the life is short and you’re not getting any younger type of crisis. To be honest, I’ve dreaded getting older. I don’t want to deal with the breaking down of bodies and minds, the health complications and diseases. I don’t like that my kids don’t live at home anymore. If you ask me, my best life was in my 30’s which was more like June. Now in my mid-40’s life feels more like the end of July. There might not be time to do all the things we dreamt of in June when summer felt full of promise and possibilities. You start to feel the loss of all the things you didn’t do, the missed opportunities, the changing of our bodies, even in parenting you think you have more time and all of a sudden, you don’t.
But one thing I’ve learned from my flowers, plants and my garden is that not everything blooms all at once. In late May to early June the peonies and lilacs bloom which are a favorite as they are here for just a short time. July is usually a time for zinnias, cosmos and begonias to come alive.
August is full of coneflowers, sunflowers and when the sedum start blooming. So I’ll take the reminder from my garden that it may feel like things are done growing and even blooming by August, but there’s still time. Time to grow, time to discover new opportunities, activities and things to do. And although our parenting may change as kids grow and move out of the house, we will discover new ways to connect and grow.
Two weeks ago, we had a chance to go away for our 25th wedding anniversary. Which in itself is crazy, 25 years!
We were babies when we got married and I’m so thankful for that, which is another blog post for another day. While we were enjoying our time away, we started talking about how we have just four short years with our son at home and then we are empty nesters. The thought honestly makes me so sad, I can’t hardly think about it right now. When you have kids that are in high school, you think you’ve reached the point in the parenting journey were maybe they don’t need you as much. But as we’ve discovered over the years, they actually need you now more than ever. Even though they may act or even tell you otherwise. As parents you are trying to enjoy the last few years, make sure you’ve taught them everything before they head out into the world and also trying not to grieve before they leave. The joy and the sorrow entwine in these moments and seasons.
Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them. They weep as they go to plant their seed but they sing as they return with the harvest. Psalm 126:6
Amidst all the changes and transitions this year, there is another unexpected new season for us. On Father’s Day, my husband opened his gift from our daughter and son-in-law
We discovered that we will be adding a new title to our names in January, grandparents! We are SO excited! Definitely a new season for us and our parenting journey. Parenting adult children is a whole other level, definitely one we have no were near mastered. It’s like the level of Mario with all those fireball sticks and we keep dying. And now we are moving onto the next phase, grandparenting! We will take all the ideas and wisdom from those of you already on this journey.
I’ll also be taking a lesson from my garden, I’ll plant seeds in hope, enjoy the beauty and blooms while they last and look forward to the next season where we harvest in joy.
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