I started this post a few days after my birthday in October. I realized I never published it. So here it is…..
A few days ago, I celebrated another trip around the sun. I’m on the downhill slide to 50 which seems impossible. I know a lot of people talk about this but it’s so true, I don’t feel 46. Although what is 46 supposed to feel like? In my younger years I suppose I felt like by this time in life I would have my poop in a group so to speak. Mature, full of wisdom, killing this adulting thing. I’m here to inform you that I am not killing this adulting thing, I am probably a bit more mature and wise than say 20 years ago but not by much. For instance, I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up. For sure I have a few things I’d love to accomplish, work towards, etc. And maybe that’s enough. Perhaps I am not meant for a “career” per se but to contribute here and there to different places and spaces. Definitely will be blogging about this soon, so many thoughts on this.
As always I have my word for the year to still focus on. Recently, I went back to my blog post from January and I was amazed that I wrote the words on the screen. Now, I am not saying I am the best writer out there. But, I am going to take a moment and be proud of the words on the screen. Often, it’s hard for me to acknowledge things that I may do well. Today, I took a moment and let myself sit in the feelings of pride, a job well done. So maybe there is more wisdom and maturity at 46 than I thought. Writing is definitely on my list of something to do more of in the coming year! When I started my first blog in 2010 or so, it was mainly to have a place to upload my recipes that I would get asked for time and time again. Then it evolved into dabbling into home projects and here I am some 13 years later, still writing albeit less often but maybe more profoundly.
I am also starting a new podcast with my friend, Danielle. A few years ago we really connected during a transitionary time in both of our lives. We started meeting at a coffee shop together while the kids were in school. She would work on her novel and I would work on my blog. It was wonderful to drink coffee together, silently working on our things but also supporting one another. Through our friendship over the years, we’ve had so many great discussions and we always say, we should have a podcast. It’s finally happening, we are actually podcasting. You can check out our podcast here.
Did I imagine that I would have just one babe left in the nest and also becoming a grandmother at 46? I doubt it. But let me just say, I’m so dang excited to be a “young” grandma. In fact, I have to remind myself that this isn’t actually my baby, I’m old, my baby is having a baby! Thankfully, this is encouraging me to make sure I’m exercising and being active, lifting weights, staying flexible, walking and taking care of myself.
There’s still that desire to create, I miss painting and drawing but I still haven’t really jumped back into it. If you follow me on social media, you know I’ve been enjoying adventures with sourdough. Making bread and asiago bagels that were delicious and beautiful was definitely something I enjoyed doing. Lately it seems a lot of my time has been spent in the kitchen making things from scratch and finding some joy in that. Who ever thought I’d say that? Maybe this is another middle age thing?
After a lot of transitions this year, the wedding, working for a few months, kids moving in and out, kids starting and ending school, the first grandbaby on the way and all the other big and little milestones, this year has been such a good one. There’s been a peace and joy that I’m thankful for. More to come when I blog about the end of 2023. For now, I’ll sign off, just know I am so thankful for year 46.
- Ange
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