A few months ago I wrote about being in a strange new stage of life and I was hopeful by now that I would have figured out a rhythm for my days, maybe even found some new hobby, job, something to keep me busy.
Well I am still stumbling around, figuring out who I am without my children, trying to find community and just contemplating what I want to do with my life, even down to where we want to live. It’s not just me as I know my hubby feels some of this as well which makes me feel a little less crazy.
Let’s just get it out now, I don’t like cold and snow, at all. Last winter when it was -40 outside for days and days, maybe even weeks, it really got me down. I was thinking it was SAD because I’m normally a let’s go do something and get out of the house kind of girl but last winter I turned into a hermit. Let’s not leave the house, who cares if we don’t have groceries kind of hermit. Not just a hermit but wander my house in my bathrobe unshowered while eating chocolate cake and not really have any idea of what I should do, aimless wandering, not focused, not wanting to do anything hermit which is soooo not me. At least if we’re going to be stuck in the house we could be painting walls, organizing, purging or thinking up new projects but that didn’t even happen. I’ve realized that I really really really need some personal contact, people to do stuff with, like cruising Hobby Lobby just for fun, maybe some thrifting or heck, just come over for coffee and chat (I won’t drink coffee but I do have some in my house, just for you).
Recently we were chatting with friends and the Meyers Briggs Personality Profile came up in conversation. I was first introduced to this in a moms group about ten years ago and I was instantly intrigued by it, back then I was an ESFJ. So for fun the other day, I decided to retake the test and see what it had to say. The site I used is here and the description of myself was eerie, were they watching me through my laptop? Seriously!
ESFP was my profile this time which makes more sense than the ESFJ. Reading this profile made me feel not like a crazy person, it made me feel like the person I am, the things I like to do, the desires I have are not silly and this is who God created me to be. I have strengths, like being extroverted and weaknesses like getting bored very easily and not liking mundane tasks like balancing checkbooks, schedules and laundry, oh wait, everyone dislikes laundry.
Anyways, If I’m going to be really honest, I think I listened to the naysayers in my head and just kind of fell into a funk, a big yucky funk. Thankfully, reading about the ESFP profile, reminding myself that GOD created me, he knew me before I was born, he thinks I am worth dying for and finally, reading this blog post really lifted my head up from the pit of despair.
If anyone is to be found spontaneously breaking into song and dance, it is the ESFP personality type. (Ask my friends and family about this one, I have many songs and dances including “waffle time” and “Just around the Riverbend”). ESFPs get caught up in the excitement of the moment, and want everyone else to feel that way, too. No other personality type is as generous with their time and energy as ESFPs when it comes to encouraging others, and no other personality type does it with such irresistible style.
ESFPs are welcome wherever there’s a need for laughter, playfulness, and a volunteer to try something new and fun – and there’s no greater joy for ESFP personalities than to bring everyone else along for the ride. ( YES!) ESFPs can chat for hours, sometimes about anything but the topic they meant to talk about, and share their loved ones’ emotions through good times and bad. If they can just remember to keep their ducks in a row, they’ll always be ready to dive into all the new and exciting things the world has to offer, friends in tow.
ESFPs are known for their irrepressibly social and excited attitudes. They don’t internalize much of anything, sharing it all with their extensive circles of friends with wit, style, enthusiasm, and optimism. ESFPs are explorers of the pleasures of life, and they take particular pleasure in sharing those experiences with others. For ESFPs, there’s no point in living if you can’t feel alive.
That’s what has been missing my friends, I love sharing experiences with others and that’s just not been happening for a long time! I want to talk about blogging, decor, paint, thrifting, GOD, books, dogs, kids, marriage and so much more! I want someone to thrift with, paint with, play tennis, play games, chat, etc. I am used to doing life with people and it’s just not happening here. We have been here for 3.5 years and have met some fabulous friends that I love a lot. This is not a dis at all on my friends here or spread across the states, I love you all! I just miss having friends to do stuff with, especially during the day while my kids are at school, it seems everyone is working, then add in activities, church, school, homework, sports and boring old laundry, (I’m just going to blame everything on laundry from now on).
I know someone will suggest it so I will just say it now, I am not getting a job just to get a job to have something to do. The schedule is too boxed in for my free spirited self and after thinking about a job and talking it over with my hubby, he doesn’t want me to get a job either. Whatever job I would get would most likely be retail which means nights, weekends and holidays, the time I do NOT want to be working. My ideal job would be something that is more freelance but working for someone so I don’t have to run my own business.
some ESFPs prefer to make people happy and excited by creating beauty instead. People with this personality type have plenty of creative energy, and many build fulfilling careers in music, fashion, photography, and interior design. With the best aesthetic sense of any personality type, ESFPs are renowned for their sense of style.
However, jobs that eliminate human contact and focus on impartial, data-driven decisions are torturous to ESFPs. Some ESFP personalities do well enough by blowing off steam with friends after work, but for the most part, careers like technical writing or data analysis are poor fits. Add ESFPs’ loathing for schedules, structures, and repetition, and nine-to-five administrative work is quickly sent to the “nope” bin.
I did have a possible offer to do something I enjoy (decorating and painting) with someone that I enjoy, but it would mean moving and moving to somewhere warmer and far away.
If my kids weren’t factored into this decision it would be so easy. With a daughter about to start high school and another child with anxiety, I worry that they won’t adjust well or find friends. I feel like I am choosing between myself (job that I would love) and my family but maybe it’s not that way at all. And in case you haven’t figured it out, I hate thinking about things. I go with my “gut feeling” a lot and also I love new things, change, etc. If I stay here, how can I get out of this funk and where can I find some friends? I need some clarity on this situation and most assuredly prayer! So if you wouldn’t mind lifting my family up in prayer today, I sure would appreciate it!