Happy almost end of January! I always look forward to January and February as it is usually a slower time of the year where I can focus on my word for the year, read some books, journal, dig into my bible and just hunker down, refuel and rest.
My word for 2019 was Light. In December we attended a church service with some friends out of town. The message, Darkness & Light, I cried for pretty much the entire service. He spoke out of John about bringing light to our darkness which was my verse for last year. Such an awesome way to end the 2019 year with my word.
I usually start anticipating my word of the year around November or December. Now it doesn’t always come to me then but I do get excited and start looking for what the Lord is speaking to me. It’s usually confirmed through multiple sources over time.
This fall I read Refine and Restore by Rachel Swanson, such a good book! She speaks of a time where she felt the Lord telling her to ask for a new name. Rachel thought it was kind of strange but she eventually did. The concept was new to me but makes sense as many people in the bible are given new names such as Jacob, Paul and Peter. I didn’t think much of this until all of a sudden there were podcasts, articles and different references to asking for a new name that I kept coming across.
Ok Lord, I get it. Time to ask you for a new name. So I did. And nothing at first. But all of a sudden, I was seeing Eagles everywhere. On the side of the road, in a field, in trees and soaring in the skies. Interesting but it’s not that uncommon to see Eagles here in Minnesota.
November 2nd my daughter had a cheer competition in Edina. While we are leaving the school we are in a round about and an Eagle flies in front of our van, so close that I think I could have reached out and touched it! So crazy! Later that day, while helping my daughter get ready for her delayed Halloween party I tell her about how I feel like the Lord keeps sending me Eagle sightings. If so, maybe my new name has something to do with that. But usually it is confirmed a few times and that I need to pray for that.
Later that night, an Eagle walks into my house. Ok, it was one of her friends in an Eagle costume. But come on! This kid, who wasn’t going to be able to come to the party, dressed up in a costume, an EAGLE costume and came to my house. I am sure this kid has no idea that the Lord sent him to me. Talk about some wild confirmation. I mean who decides to dress up as an Eagle for Halloween? Where do you even get an Eagle Costume? And just for good measure, a week later on my way to bring the cat to the vet, an Eagle again swoops down in front of my van. Then in December on our way to church with our friends that I talked about earlier, we see eagles all over! I lost count of the number of Eagles we saw on that ride.
I know some of you are going to be skeptical of this and that’s ok. I know it’s not a coincidence, I know when the Lord is speaking to me and He’s been speaking to me about Freedom. It’s my word for 2020.
This fall someone spoke these words over me: Authentic – freedom, joy, light. These words have been a struggle for me for the past few years. I’ve not been myself. I don’t feel Authentic, or free, or joyful or light. And if you’ve known me for a few years, you know that I struggle with anxiety and claustrophobia. At one point, I couldn’t even go to a grocery store by myself, I couldn’t drive by myself anywhere at all, sometimes even being in restaurants was too much and I was fighting panic attacks almost daily. I’ve been freed from a lot of this stuff but there is still more to get free from.
So what does Freedom in Christ look like for 2020? Good question. One I am afraid to answer right now. Ha! But seriously, I’ve held this word in my mind for a while but I really didn’t want to post this blog post. Because it’s scary to put it out there but here it is. Will I fly in a plane? Will I live for what God thinks and says about me instead of the world? Will I choose obedience even when it’s hard and I don’t want to? I honestly don’t know.
But I do know this, I’m ready to be light, joy, authentic and FREE! Which new flash, I am already all these things through Christ. My freedom is in Him. So here’s to 2020 vision, freedom and obedience!